That almost sounds Un-American doesn’t it? I feel like with each passing decade Americans increasingly worship at the altar of Capitalism, but that might be a topic for another article. What I really mean is that I don’t like to view others as competition, especially other women. Now I realize that certain people thrive on this and it is the stuff the makes up Gold Medal dreams but I don’t think that viewing other people or businesses as your competition promotes good health. I imagine if you are a man you might stop reading right here. Hang tight.
Here is the dictionary definition of competition
- the act of competing; rivalry, a prize etc: The competition between the two teams was bitter.
Bitter, viewing someone as a rival. I know you might not think that being competitive leads you down a path of negative emotions but I think the battle mindset is not a healthy one.
Have you ever met someone who completely lacked empathy and understanding? It is always a little shocking in a Leona Helmsley sort of way. They never put the shoe on the other foot. They are happy when their rival catches a bad break. Witnessing failure of their “competition” brings them satisfaction. Satisfaction at the misfortune, bad business, bad timing of someone else. I don’t believe that you should ever stop empathizing with the human beings behind the business, behind the parenting, etc.
A competitive mindset can also have adverse effects on your own self esteem. When we view someone with an opposing eye and they seem to be succeeding more than us, we can take it two ways. 1.We can feel bad about our own efforts 2. We can nit pick them to death in attempts to feel better and more superior to them.
Either way, it is unhealthy for your brain and a bit juvenile.
Lastly, a concept that I am personally am trying to grasp is that when you view others as your competition it often comes from a “place of lack.” This is something that I knew deep down inside but wasn’t necessarily putting into practice.
Example: Remember that cute boy in High School that you were just pining away for? Remember the seemingly perfect girl you viewed as your competition to get said boy? Remember all those negative thoughts and dirty looks your sent her way? Oyi! The hours you spent viewing her as your competition! Wasted time, wasted energy on negative emotions.
Guest what? Turns out he was not the only cute boy on the planet, in fact, he wasn’t even close!
Now guess what, there is not only one customer for your services or in need of your product. There are plenty of customers to go around. Let me repeat: Lots of people on the planet, plenty of customers. The universe is big. God is big and He can handle getting you everything that you need. Is it sinking in?
If you aren’t buying the universe and God idea, I can go all “science” on you. Studies have proven that sending a customer to perceived “competition” inspires loyalty and has big monetary rewards. Why don’t we do that if we KNOW we are going to be rewarded for it? Don’t stay in the Land of Lack.
Lifting people up is the business that I want to be in. I don’t want to relish in the hard times of others. I don’t want to see them go out of business, be crushed. I would much rather help, praise and compliment people because it means my heart stays in the right place on a daily basis. We are genuinely all in this together. Life is tough enough. We don’t need to willingly cultivate an emotion that doesn’t always produce healthy results.
People, your customers, your family can sense your openness and ease and are drawn to you as a result. That is the best pay off.